Good Morning
I can't stand grumpy people! I don't get how J has turned into such a self absorbed person.He woke me up 3x's from a dead sleep; to ask 1. where the cat was..2. that the fan was blowing the wrong way...3. some mumbling about dolphins. The last time he woke me up was 5am...So i got up at 5:30 after he said 'wtf is going on..u going back to sleep or what?!..' and asked him at 6:50 if he wanted me to bring coffee back for him; in which i get a lecture of how rude I AM & how I don't let him sleep...
so i said you're gunna regret this & left!
I have been turning the tables -- when i ask him questions about flying last nite..all i got was a 'YES Cyndiiiiiiii...' the way a child would after you've scolded them! So if i'm not going to get any respect from HIm. I decided to turn the tables and do it to him...when he asked if i was coming to bed soon i said "I GUESS JESPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"... & so on. See how he likes to be talked down to like a child! ughh i've been praying lately as to whether i should stay in this - i feel like clearly - i'm getting my answers...only my eyes are wide open;more so than ever before!
I've exhausted my heart♥, time, energy..not to mention my 15,000$ bank acct! to keep the repo man away from HIS car! I'm emotionally exhausted & want off this rollar coaster! A friend made it clear to me....looked me in the eyes and said "what? do u enjoy being hurt?'... NO I don't ! frankly; i've had enough..how dumb am i to be emotionally pounded on [as well as ..]
I am scared to show anxiety about flying ; but am told how hammered he wants to get in the airport - & i know when that happens how flirty he gets; I'm nervous to be on an airplane with a man; I can't say I trust anymore! I keep just trying to drink water & count to 4 or 7...like my lovely g'ma told me
We take the cat to his boarding place tonite!I am going to miss my nite cuddles with that lil guy - does this make me a crazy cat lady!? haha Then at 4 AM i will drive to LAX; leave my car & board the plane at 7:30AM!! ahhhhh!
Cross your fingers for me & if you pray...send a little one up for me!
For I am soo nervous!
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